First of all, I need to think all my friends and family for keeping me in their prayers. The outpour of love and support has been so overwhelming, in a good way of course.

Endless messages, e-mails, texts, and phone calls from my supporters letting me know they were thinking about me and praying for me. Literally I am so awestricken with how much I am loved.

Today has been a complete turn-around from yesterday. The abundant outpour of love has given me the strength to move forward. I am so blessed God moved these people’s hearts to reach out to me. He really knows the desires of my heart.

Today was the first day I was able to drive the boat and pull campers on the tubes. It was such an awesome experience. Campers were having the time of their lives and I got to drive a pretty stinkin awesome ski boat.

The only downfall to this story is that I ruined my phone. As we were pulling campers I hit a HUGE wake at the wrong angle and flood the inside of the boat for about 10 seconds. Of course my phone was near the splash zone and totally destroyed it.

The highlight of this time was that I was able to take out the work crew on the tubes. Let’s just say…I lit them up pretty good. They won’t be giving me anymore attitudes in the kitchen!

After the amazing day at the lake I went to go see if I could get a new phone from the AT&T store, and of course they will not let me get it right away. When I found out this news an overbearing sensation of hysterics crossed my face and I had a complete meltdown and anxiety attack.

Looking back now, I ask myself, why? Why can I not be out a phone for a couple of days? Why did I need to get that upset over not having a phone? Why can I not trust that this is ALL a part of the Lord’s plan for me?

Truth is…God did this for a reason. I may not know why now, and I may not ever know, but he has a purpose for everything. Every mili-second of our lives has a purpose. Our life is perfectly imperfect. The Lord has a plan. We need to have the faith to trust in his plan for us.

Today I saw this image on my friend Vicki’s facebook page.

‘While you wake up today someone is taking their last breath. Thank God for another day. Don’t waste it.”

How true is this! I need to be thanking God for ALL the moments in my life. Embracing all the highs and all the lows, because he has given me another day on this Earth to do his work. I need to work on not being so selfish and worrying about my needs and focusing on the needs of these kids here.

I wish God didn’t need to destroy my phone for me to see this, but he has to do, what he has to do, to get my attention (ha). 

God is yearning for my attention. He is begging me to rely on him for everything!

Thanks to my amazing friend Marya Pennington for this verse.

“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord… Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:1–4, 23–24 

Test me and know my anxious thoughts…this is exactly what the Lord is doing to me right now, right here. This is what I have been begging him to do.

To wrap this up, God gives you the desires of your heart. Whether they come out how we predict them is a different story. Rely on him for strength. He is begging for us to turn to him. Embrace love. Embrace defeat. Embrace Jesus.

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